A Loving Touch Therapeutic Massage

There are few more lovingly intimate ways of spending time with your partner than giving each other a massage. As a powerful form of nonverbal communication, massage can strengthen an already loving relationship and build bridges where there are problems.

Head

A head massage is one of the nicest gifts you can give your partner, especially if they have had a hard day, as it releases all tension.

Ask your partner to sit comfortably, while you sit or stand behind them. Take off jewelry that might catch on their skin, then place your fingertips on the scalp. Run your open fingers softly through the hair. With quite a firm circular motion, rotate your fingers around the scalp, changing the size of the circles and gradually increasing the pressure. Concentrate on areas such as behind the ears, along the hairline and the base of the skull.



Now concentrate on the forehead, gliding your thumbs from the top of the nose in an arch to the sides of the head and back. Repeat, following the line of the eyebrow, and adapt it by using small circular strokes with the balls of your thumbs. Next, sweep your thumbs gently down the sides of the nose and across the sinuses, then out towards the cheekbones before repeating.

Cup your hands into a loose fist and support the back of the ears with the side of your fist finger, using your thumbs to make small circular motions all around the rims. Then move down to grasp the lobe between the tips of your thumb and index finger and gently pull it down, allowing it to slip through your fingers before repeating.

Shoulders

A good place to start a full body massage is the shoulders and back, as these areas often contain the most knots and tight muscles! By easing the tension there, you pave the way for a totally relaxing and sensual full body massage - truly a great act of love.

Ask your partner to lie on their front. Put a small amount of massage oil on your hands and rub them together to warm it.



Start at the top of the shoulders with both hands flat on the skin with the neck between them. Run your hands up the back of the neck, then down and along the tops of the shoulders in long sweeping strokes. Repeat with a firmer pressure using your thumbs. Begin to focus on specific areas, gradually increasing the pressure, pressing your thumbs into the muscular areas using small circular strokes until you can feel the muscles loosening up. Punctuate the more intense circular strokes with the sweeping strokes to add variety and encourage relaxation.

Extend your massage down your partner's back. Place your hands flat on either side of the top of the spine and sweep down to the base. On the upward sweep, apply more pressure by using your bodyweight. Vary this stroke by sweeping your hands out to the sides using fanning strokes or a harder circular pressure with the heels of your hands. Avoid directly massaging the spine.

Breasts

Massaging a woman's breasts is a sensual experience for both parties. It is best done with the woman lying on her back. You may find it easier to straddle your partner, but do not sit on her. Begin by placing your hands palms down under each breast with your thumbs out to form an "L" shape and the breast cupped in the crook of the "L". Using quite the firm pressure, circle your hands upwards and inwards, bring the thumb and index finger together so that they end up lightly pinching the nipples before beginning again. If you want, you can concentrate on one breast, using a similar technique but this time with one hand following the other to complete the circle.



Another technique is to use your fingers and thumbs to pinch the nipple area gently before slowly fanning your fingers out across the breast. Use a light pressure around the nipple and increase the pressure as your fingers span out.

Thighs

It is easier to massage the thighs with your partner lying on their back, as they can bend their knees. Cup one hand on the underside of the thigh and the other on the top, just above the knee. Increase the pressure in the tips of your thumbs and fingers as you glide your hands up the length of the thigh and down again. Vary your strokes from feather-light to harder faming, using the heel of your hand to give pressure in a constant sweeping motion.



Buttocks

Sit at your prone partner's side and softly knead the buttocks with both hands, gradually increasing the pressure. Next, hold your hands above one buttock, keeping them taut, flat, straight and parallel, and use a sharp chopping motion to strike it. Use alternate hands and move up and down the length of the buttock.

Head Massage for Insomnia and Illness

Massage can give comfort to someone who is unwell accelerate the healing process, and for sleep-related problems it can relax 'the body and help the mind to switch off. These very different situations require different approaches.

Treating Insomnia
For chronic sleeplessness the underlying cause needs to be investigated, but generally most sleep problems are linked to stress and tension. When you're lying in bed and can't get to sleep, you can use head massage to ease body tension and hopefully induce calm and peaceful slumber. The strokes are suitable for both partner and self-massage.

To prepare yourself breathe deeply in and out from your belly, perhaps letting out a sigh or a yawn on the out breath. Then let your jaw drop so that your mouth is partly open and your tongue rests softly in it. Roll up a small ball of saliva in your mouth and keep it there - higher levels of body fluid are associated with deeper states of relaxation. Keep your eyes gently closed, making sure that your eye sockets remain soft. Keep your mouth moist with saliva.

1. AS you breathe out, firmly squeeze the middle back of your neck with one hand. Hold the pressure for 15 seconds and slowly release. Repeat at the top and bottom of your neck. Cover the neck area three times and repeat on other side.
2. Still lying on your side, use your thumb to press into the base of the skull in the area just behind the ear. Continue pressing, moving down along the skull's ridge to the hollow in the middle of its base. Stay longer in any particularly tight or painful spots. You can also make circular strokes here with your thumbs. There are many pressure points along this area that can help to promote restful sleep. Turn your head and repeat on the other side.
3. Now lie on your back, and use your fingers to make circling strokes around the jaw area, paying particular attention to the jaw socket. Use stronger pressure here if you wish. As the jaw benefits from repetitive work, keep this action going for a few minutes. As you massage you can listen to the soothing sound of your breath. Alternatively, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth to encourage repetitive, sleep-inducing yawning.
4. Turning your head slightly, place your index finger at the top of your upper ear. Slide it down to just below the ear's top outer ridge and across to the edge of the dimple in this ridge. Position your thumb so that it is resting on the underside of the ear's ridge, just behind your index finger. Press firmly and use your finger to massage in a circular movement for about 30 seconds. This special pressure point is associated with calming the mind Repeat on the other ear.
5. With your head back to centre, place your first two fingers in the middle of your forehead and make slow circular strokes using a light pressure. Continue with this circling action and work out towards your right temple, making the circles bigger as you go. Circle over the temple area and then use connecting circular strokes to move to the left temple. Repeat once or twice more. This stroke also calms the mind and slows down thinking processes.

Head Massage and Illness

During illness, a traditional style head massage would be over-stimulating and could feel invasive. The body's energies are taken up with crying to get well and in these situations a different kind of approach is called for. A gentle hand massage that uses light and tender strokes, however, can be healing and soothing to receive and also speed up recovery. This type of massage can be used during convalescence but not during acute conditions'. Before massaging anyone who is unwell, observe the usual contraindications; if you have any doubt then check with a qualified medical practitioner. As a general rule guide, remember to keep your touch light and gentle and avoid firm pressure. The strokes should be fluid, smooth and flowing and stop when your partner has had enough.

Hand Massage

A light hand massage can promote healing and relaxation throughout the body's systems without being too vigorous. Pressure points on the hand have physiological correspondences to the rest of the body, there are also nerve receptors located here which will send messages of relaxation to the brain.

1. Gently sandwich your partner's hand in between your hands and then use your top hand to stroke downwards in the direction of the fingertips. Next, take each finger at a time and stroke down to the fingertip. Repeat on each finger three times. Repeat on the other hand.
2. Next, move your hands to the arm and make circling actions with your thumbs, working round the muscles of the arm, then the joints of the wrist and hand. Make your touch increasingly light as you move down the arm. Do this three times and then change to the other arm.
3. Using your thumb pads, make small circular strokes across the whole palm at least three times including the wrist area if you wish.
4. Make light circular strokes over the front of the hand, working gently into the wrist and down the arm and smoothing between the fingers. Finish with gentle stroking and a hold. Repeat on the other hand.

The Aromatic Bath

The relaxing and remedial properties of water and massaging oils into the body were recognized in ancient Greek and Roman cultures, when bathing first became a daily ritual.

A bath with essential oils is one of the simplest and most effective aromatherapy treatments. It can be stimulating or relaxing, depending on the temperature of the water and whether you choose oils with uplifting or calming properties. In the bath, the therapeutic action of the oils is two-fold: they are absorbed through the skin, moisturizing the dermis and entering the circulatory system, and at the same time their aromas are inhaled, stimulating the brain and increasing your sense of well-being. An aromatic bath can detoxify the body, help problems like cellulite, joint stiffness, general aches and pains, colds and headaches, tone and condition skin, and relieve anxiety and tension.

Running the Bath

Bath temperature and the time spent in the tub are important. A cooler bath is more stimulating and warmer water relaxes. Very hot water is damaging, however: it causes blood vessels and capillaries to expand and increases the heart rate. You should particularly avoid hot water if you have varcoise veins, haemorrhoids, high blood pressure or are pregnant. A 15-20 minute soak is long enough before skin cells over hydrate and swell with water. Wait until the bath is almost full before adding the oils, as they evaporate so quickly.

Oils for the Bath

Essential oils are the best way of making a bath both aromatic and therapeutic. They sink into the skin easily and at the same time impart their lovely herbal or floral fragrances. You can add drops of oil directly to the bath and they will float on the surface in a fine film and evaporate, giving you the full benefit of their aromas. Or if you want to absorb them more you can dispose them through the water by mixing with a base carrier oil such as sweet almond, apricot kernel, jojoba or evening primrose (these rich base oils all nourish and rejuvenate the skin in their own right).

Mix a bath oil with a combination of up to three essential oils, five drops from each, in 15 ml (1 tbsp) of skin-softening base oil. Choose oils with complementary effects so they do not override one another.

The Relaxing Bath

To calm yourself after a fraught day or to pamper yourself for a peaceful night's sleep, turn your bathroom into a private sanctuary. Keep the light as soft as possible, using aromatic candles if the lightis harsh, or you could use an eye mask. Introducing plants into the bathroom will help create an oxygenated atmosphere. Once in the bath, support your eyes and inhale deeply. Concentrate on your breathing, empty your mind and let the oils soothe away the stresses and strains. And a 15-20 minutes soak, get out and wrap yourself in a large, warm towel and rest quietly for a few moments.

Oils for Relaxation

Basil, Bergamot, Cedarwood, Chamomile, Frankincense, Hyssop, Juniper, Lavender, Marjoram, Melissa, Neroli, Patchouli, Rose, Sage, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang

Although these oils have predominantly calming effects, some can also be used to stimulate the circulation and lymphatic system, in particular lavender oil and also bergamot.

The Stimulating Bath

Best for the morning to get you started or to revive you before an evening out. Keep the water fairly cool and use an invigorating bath mitt to rub down and stimulate the circulation. When you've soaked, rinse yourself with water as cold as you can bear, either by splashing directly from the tap (faucet) or shower, or by adding more cold water to cool down your bath.

As you get out, either slap yourself dry to make the skin tingle or rub yourself vigorously with a towel.

Oils for Stimulation

Cypress, Eucalyptus, Fennel, Geranium, Juniper, Lavender, Lemon, Lemongrass, Peppermint, Pine, Rosemary, Thyme

Showers and Cold Rinses

Invigorating jets of water are ideal for getting the blood pumping and there's no need to forego the benefits of aromatic oils. Skin tends to be sluggish in the cold winter months but sloughing off dead dead top layers can help regenerate cells and allow moisturizers to be absorbed more easily. Showers are ideal for smoothing skin with exfoliating rubs using wet salt, a loofah or a mitt to slough off the top surface of dead skin cells. A dry friction glove or loofah is too harsh for most skins so soften first in warm water. Soft bristle brushes can also help to get the circulation going with gentle massage on problem areas like hips and thighs. To keep friction brushes and mitts fresh always rinse and hang up to dry.

Essential oils can be used under the shower: try a base oil mixed with invigorating essences poured on to a clean face-cloth or sponge and rubbed all over the body. To clear the sinuses and help coughs, sponge the chest with a mix of eucalyptus and peppermint oils. A cold shower after cleaning improves the circulation and tightens skin pores.

After-bath Body Treatments

Moisturizing oils and lotions applied after the bath or shower help to nourish the skin, keeping it soft and supple. As we get older our skin dehydrates since the oil glands do not produce as much oil as in youth. Apply a body oil over, starting from the feet and working right up to the neck and the tips of the ears. Avoid talcum powders as they clog the pores and tend to have a drying effect.

Problem Zones

Hands and Nails take some rough treatment with everyday chores. The ideal time for a manicure or pedicure is after soaking in a bath when nails and skin are softened, making it easy to clean around the nail bed and to clip uneven nails without snagging. Fragile or flaky nails benefit from a rich, nourishing treatment: rub them with apricot kernel, wheat germ or jojoba oil. Restore hands with a soothing, moisturizing mix of 15 ml (1 tbsp) sweet almond oil and five drops each of patchouli, lavender and lemon.

Feet are often neglected until they hurt. Polish hard skin around heels and soles with a handful of damp salt or use a pumice stone. While in the bath, bend one knee, grip the toes and then work with the fingers massaging in an upward direction, from the toes to the heels and up the calves, in order to stimulate blood flow and relax tired feet. Massage a body oil into the feet after a bath, shower or pedicure.

For a deodorizing and soothing footbath add three drops each of cypress and lavender to a basin full of water. Chilblains can be treated with a massage blend of three drops of geranium and a drop each of lavender and rosemary in 15 ml (1 tbsp) sweet almond base oil.

Elbows can soon build up hard protective layers of grey unsightly skin. A good softener for tough elbows is a sweet almond oil and oatmeal scrub. Mix 45ml (3 tbsp) fine oatmeal and mix to a paste with fresh milk or yogurt. Smooth and rub over the elbows and any grey, goosey areas of skin around upper arms. Add six drops of fennel if arms are flabby. Another great elbow booster is the traditional recipe of cutting a lemon in half, squeezing out the juice and rubbing the elbows in the hollow of the lemon.

Massage for Digestive Disorders

When stress is manifested physically in the abdominal are, massage and touch can bring the sense of safety and comfort needed to relax and relieve mild digestive disorders and abdominal discomfort.

Emotional tension can cause us to tighten our abdominal muscles and reduce our breathing in order to avoid the experience of painful or uncomfortable feelings. If we are unable to assimilate those emotions, or express them appropriately, they can manifest themselves as physical disorders, particularly playing havoc with the digestive system. Massage helps to deepen breathing, allowing the muscles to soften and expand, and to restore harmony.

All the strokes shown on the abdomen in the Body Massage section are suitable when stress is felt in this area. Reflexology, shiatsu, hands-on breaching techniques, self-massage and passive movements can also bring relief to simple digestive disorders.

Shiatsu Elimination Point

An important shiatsu point for the release of intestinal congestion is the one found on the web of skin between the thumb and index finger. The exact location is indicated by its tenderness to pressure. This point is known as Large Intestine 4, or in Chinese terms as "the Great Eliminator".

• Press gently on this point for up to five seconds, then release the pressure gradually.
• Abdominal pain can be a warning that there is disorder in the system, so always consult a doctor if it is persistent.
• Peppermint essential oil is particularly useful for digestive disorders. For self-massage place your hands on your abdomen and move your hands in a clockwise direction to encourage digestive and bowel action.

Holding and Breathing

Still, calm holds over the abdominal area will encourage deeper breathing, allowing the release of pent-up emotions and stress. The following holds will all help to promote relaxation and eliminate tension, enabling the digestive tract to function properly.

If your partner is under extreme stress and is experiencing abdominal discomfort, the best position is to lie sideways with the knees drawn up slightly. Pillows under the head and between the knees will create a feeling of security. Place one hand over the lower back and the other on the belly, and encourage slow, deep breathing from the abdomen. When the abdominal muscles are relaxed, rub the abdomen with gentle clockwise strokes.

With your partner lying down with knees raised, place one hand under the small of the back and ask that the weight of the pelvis be dropped towards your hand. Place your other hand over the abdomen so that its warmth helps to dissolve constriction in the muscles. Then ask your partner to direct breathing towards your hands and to imagine that each breath is helping the abdomen to expand and release tension. Keeping one hand under the pelvis, move hand to hold different parts of the abdomen.

Encourage deep but gentle breathing in the diaphragm and solar plexus region by placing one hand below the mid-back and the other over the top of the abdomen. This will encourage the release of tension that can lead to digestive problems. As the area relaxes, gently massage it with soft circular strokes of your palm.

Useful Essential Oils

For specific digestive complaints the following essential oils and blends may be useful:

• Constipation and pain: three drops each of ginger, orange, bergamot and clary sage
  
  
• Sluggish digestion: peppermint, juniper, rosemary
  
  
• Indigestion: drop of peppermint, three drops each of ginger, lemon and bergamot
  
  
• Flatulence: bergamot, fennel, ginger, lemon, marjoram, neroli, nutmeg, peppermint, rosemary
  
  
• Colicky pain: bergamot, chamomile, clary sage, ginger, cypress, lemon, orange, peppermint, sandalwood
  
  
• Constipation: fennel, ginger, marjoram, neroli, orange, peppermint, rose
  
  
• Diarrhoea: cypress, chamomile, ginger, lemon, orange, peppermint

Relieving Abdominal Cramp

Pushing the knees towards the abdomen can help to relieve tightness there. With your partner's knees bent so the feet are flat on the mattress, adjust your posture so that you can lean your weight forward as you perform this passive movement.

Slowly push the knees towards the trunk of the body, taking care not to force them beyond their natural point of resistance. Help to lower your partner's feet to the mattress, then repeat the movement twice more.