A Loving Touch Therapeutic Massage

There are few more lovingly intimate ways of spending time with your partner than giving each other a massage. As a powerful form of nonverbal communication, massage can strengthen an already loving relationship and build bridges where there are problems.

Head

A head massage is one of the nicest gifts you can give your partner, especially if they have had a hard day, as it releases all tension.

Ask your partner to sit comfortably, while you sit or stand behind them. Take off jewelry that might catch on their skin, then place your fingertips on the scalp. Run your open fingers softly through the hair. With quite a firm circular motion, rotate your fingers around the scalp, changing the size of the circles and gradually increasing the pressure. Concentrate on areas such as behind the ears, along the hairline and the base of the skull.



Now concentrate on the forehead, gliding your thumbs from the top of the nose in an arch to the sides of the head and back. Repeat, following the line of the eyebrow, and adapt it by using small circular strokes with the balls of your thumbs. Next, sweep your thumbs gently down the sides of the nose and across the sinuses, then out towards the cheekbones before repeating.

Cup your hands into a loose fist and support the back of the ears with the side of your fist finger, using your thumbs to make small circular motions all around the rims. Then move down to grasp the lobe between the tips of your thumb and index finger and gently pull it down, allowing it to slip through your fingers before repeating.

Shoulders

A good place to start a full body massage is the shoulders and back, as these areas often contain the most knots and tight muscles! By easing the tension there, you pave the way for a totally relaxing and sensual full body massage - truly a great act of love.

Ask your partner to lie on their front. Put a small amount of massage oil on your hands and rub them together to warm it.



Start at the top of the shoulders with both hands flat on the skin with the neck between them. Run your hands up the back of the neck, then down and along the tops of the shoulders in long sweeping strokes. Repeat with a firmer pressure using your thumbs. Begin to focus on specific areas, gradually increasing the pressure, pressing your thumbs into the muscular areas using small circular strokes until you can feel the muscles loosening up. Punctuate the more intense circular strokes with the sweeping strokes to add variety and encourage relaxation.

Extend your massage down your partner's back. Place your hands flat on either side of the top of the spine and sweep down to the base. On the upward sweep, apply more pressure by using your bodyweight. Vary this stroke by sweeping your hands out to the sides using fanning strokes or a harder circular pressure with the heels of your hands. Avoid directly massaging the spine.

Breasts

Massaging a woman's breasts is a sensual experience for both parties. It is best done with the woman lying on her back. You may find it easier to straddle your partner, but do not sit on her. Begin by placing your hands palms down under each breast with your thumbs out to form an "L" shape and the breast cupped in the crook of the "L". Using quite the firm pressure, circle your hands upwards and inwards, bring the thumb and index finger together so that they end up lightly pinching the nipples before beginning again. If you want, you can concentrate on one breast, using a similar technique but this time with one hand following the other to complete the circle.



Another technique is to use your fingers and thumbs to pinch the nipple area gently before slowly fanning your fingers out across the breast. Use a light pressure around the nipple and increase the pressure as your fingers span out.

Thighs

It is easier to massage the thighs with your partner lying on their back, as they can bend their knees. Cup one hand on the underside of the thigh and the other on the top, just above the knee. Increase the pressure in the tips of your thumbs and fingers as you glide your hands up the length of the thigh and down again. Vary your strokes from feather-light to harder faming, using the heel of your hand to give pressure in a constant sweeping motion.



Buttocks

Sit at your prone partner's side and softly knead the buttocks with both hands, gradually increasing the pressure. Next, hold your hands above one buttock, keeping them taut, flat, straight and parallel, and use a sharp chopping motion to strike it. Use alternate hands and move up and down the length of the buttock.

Head Massage for Insomnia and Illness

Massage can give comfort to someone who is unwell accelerate the healing process, and for sleep-related problems it can relax 'the body and help the mind to switch off. These very different situations require different approaches.

Treating Insomnia
For chronic sleeplessness the underlying cause needs to be investigated, but generally most sleep problems are linked to stress and tension. When you're lying in bed and can't get to sleep, you can use head massage to ease body tension and hopefully induce calm and peaceful slumber. The strokes are suitable for both partner and self-massage.

To prepare yourself breathe deeply in and out from your belly, perhaps letting out a sigh or a yawn on the out breath. Then let your jaw drop so that your mouth is partly open and your tongue rests softly in it. Roll up a small ball of saliva in your mouth and keep it there - higher levels of body fluid are associated with deeper states of relaxation. Keep your eyes gently closed, making sure that your eye sockets remain soft. Keep your mouth moist with saliva.

1. AS you breathe out, firmly squeeze the middle back of your neck with one hand. Hold the pressure for 15 seconds and slowly release. Repeat at the top and bottom of your neck. Cover the neck area three times and repeat on other side.
2. Still lying on your side, use your thumb to press into the base of the skull in the area just behind the ear. Continue pressing, moving down along the skull's ridge to the hollow in the middle of its base. Stay longer in any particularly tight or painful spots. You can also make circular strokes here with your thumbs. There are many pressure points along this area that can help to promote restful sleep. Turn your head and repeat on the other side.
3. Now lie on your back, and use your fingers to make circling strokes around the jaw area, paying particular attention to the jaw socket. Use stronger pressure here if you wish. As the jaw benefits from repetitive work, keep this action going for a few minutes. As you massage you can listen to the soothing sound of your breath. Alternatively, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth to encourage repetitive, sleep-inducing yawning.
4. Turning your head slightly, place your index finger at the top of your upper ear. Slide it down to just below the ear's top outer ridge and across to the edge of the dimple in this ridge. Position your thumb so that it is resting on the underside of the ear's ridge, just behind your index finger. Press firmly and use your finger to massage in a circular movement for about 30 seconds. This special pressure point is associated with calming the mind Repeat on the other ear.
5. With your head back to centre, place your first two fingers in the middle of your forehead and make slow circular strokes using a light pressure. Continue with this circling action and work out towards your right temple, making the circles bigger as you go. Circle over the temple area and then use connecting circular strokes to move to the left temple. Repeat once or twice more. This stroke also calms the mind and slows down thinking processes.

Head Massage and Illness

During illness, a traditional style head massage would be over-stimulating and could feel invasive. The body's energies are taken up with crying to get well and in these situations a different kind of approach is called for. A gentle hand massage that uses light and tender strokes, however, can be healing and soothing to receive and also speed up recovery. This type of massage can be used during convalescence but not during acute conditions'. Before massaging anyone who is unwell, observe the usual contraindications; if you have any doubt then check with a qualified medical practitioner. As a general rule guide, remember to keep your touch light and gentle and avoid firm pressure. The strokes should be fluid, smooth and flowing and stop when your partner has had enough.

Hand Massage

A light hand massage can promote healing and relaxation throughout the body's systems without being too vigorous. Pressure points on the hand have physiological correspondences to the rest of the body, there are also nerve receptors located here which will send messages of relaxation to the brain.

1. Gently sandwich your partner's hand in between your hands and then use your top hand to stroke downwards in the direction of the fingertips. Next, take each finger at a time and stroke down to the fingertip. Repeat on each finger three times. Repeat on the other hand.
2. Next, move your hands to the arm and make circling actions with your thumbs, working round the muscles of the arm, then the joints of the wrist and hand. Make your touch increasingly light as you move down the arm. Do this three times and then change to the other arm.
3. Using your thumb pads, make small circular strokes across the whole palm at least three times including the wrist area if you wish.
4. Make light circular strokes over the front of the hand, working gently into the wrist and down the arm and smoothing between the fingers. Finish with gentle stroking and a hold. Repeat on the other hand.

Massage for Digestive Disorders

When stress is manifested physically in the abdominal are, massage and touch can bring the sense of safety and comfort needed to relax and relieve mild digestive disorders and abdominal discomfort.

Emotional tension can cause us to tighten our abdominal muscles and reduce our breathing in order to avoid the experience of painful or uncomfortable feelings. If we are unable to assimilate those emotions, or express them appropriately, they can manifest themselves as physical disorders, particularly playing havoc with the digestive system. Massage helps to deepen breathing, allowing the muscles to soften and expand, and to restore harmony.

All the strokes shown on the abdomen in the Body Massage section are suitable when stress is felt in this area. Reflexology, shiatsu, hands-on breaching techniques, self-massage and passive movements can also bring relief to simple digestive disorders.

Shiatsu Elimination Point

An important shiatsu point for the release of intestinal congestion is the one found on the web of skin between the thumb and index finger. The exact location is indicated by its tenderness to pressure. This point is known as Large Intestine 4, or in Chinese terms as "the Great Eliminator".

• Press gently on this point for up to five seconds, then release the pressure gradually.
• Abdominal pain can be a warning that there is disorder in the system, so always consult a doctor if it is persistent.
• Peppermint essential oil is particularly useful for digestive disorders. For self-massage place your hands on your abdomen and move your hands in a clockwise direction to encourage digestive and bowel action.

Holding and Breathing

Still, calm holds over the abdominal area will encourage deeper breathing, allowing the release of pent-up emotions and stress. The following holds will all help to promote relaxation and eliminate tension, enabling the digestive tract to function properly.

If your partner is under extreme stress and is experiencing abdominal discomfort, the best position is to lie sideways with the knees drawn up slightly. Pillows under the head and between the knees will create a feeling of security. Place one hand over the lower back and the other on the belly, and encourage slow, deep breathing from the abdomen. When the abdominal muscles are relaxed, rub the abdomen with gentle clockwise strokes.

With your partner lying down with knees raised, place one hand under the small of the back and ask that the weight of the pelvis be dropped towards your hand. Place your other hand over the abdomen so that its warmth helps to dissolve constriction in the muscles. Then ask your partner to direct breathing towards your hands and to imagine that each breath is helping the abdomen to expand and release tension. Keeping one hand under the pelvis, move hand to hold different parts of the abdomen.

Encourage deep but gentle breathing in the diaphragm and solar plexus region by placing one hand below the mid-back and the other over the top of the abdomen. This will encourage the release of tension that can lead to digestive problems. As the area relaxes, gently massage it with soft circular strokes of your palm.

Useful Essential Oils

For specific digestive complaints the following essential oils and blends may be useful:

• Constipation and pain: three drops each of ginger, orange, bergamot and clary sage
  
  
• Sluggish digestion: peppermint, juniper, rosemary
  
  
• Indigestion: drop of peppermint, three drops each of ginger, lemon and bergamot
  
  
• Flatulence: bergamot, fennel, ginger, lemon, marjoram, neroli, nutmeg, peppermint, rosemary
  
  
• Colicky pain: bergamot, chamomile, clary sage, ginger, cypress, lemon, orange, peppermint, sandalwood
  
  
• Constipation: fennel, ginger, marjoram, neroli, orange, peppermint, rose
  
  
• Diarrhoea: cypress, chamomile, ginger, lemon, orange, peppermint

Relieving Abdominal Cramp

Pushing the knees towards the abdomen can help to relieve tightness there. With your partner's knees bent so the feet are flat on the mattress, adjust your posture so that you can lean your weight forward as you perform this passive movement.

Slowly push the knees towards the trunk of the body, taking care not to force them beyond their natural point of resistance. Help to lower your partner's feet to the mattress, then repeat the movement twice more.

The Principles of Shiatsu

Shiatsu can be traced back over 5,000 years to its roots in ancient Chinese forms of medicine such as acupuncture and acupressure. However, it is a modern Japanese therapy, which fuses traditional Eastern practices with Western techniques of Osteopathy. Literally translated, the name means finger pressure - Shi (finger) and Asu (pressure) - although elbows, knees and feet are also used to press along the body's networkof meridian lines of pressure points, releasing blocked channels of energy. It is a holistic method of alleviating pain and promoting health in the whole body.

Giving a Shiatsu Session

If your partner closes their eyes, this can make the session a special time to relax and switch off from the world. There is no need to talk during a treatment as the communication of touch can say so much more. One of the fundamental principles of Shiatsu is to have simultaneous touch from both hands. With a two-hand connection a circuit is created, bonding the giver and receiver. To keep this link, one hand is stationary - the support hand - and plays the role of listening to and comforting your partner, while the other hand - the messenger hand - moves and does all the work. The amount of pressure from both hands will vary depending on the area of the body you are working on. The messenger and support hands changes roles many times throughout a shiatsu session. What you are trying to achieve is two points of contact merging and feeling like one to both therapist and partner.

Even as a beginner use your senses of looking, asking, listening and touching. Listen to your partner's needs and ask about symptoms before giving a treatment. Your motivations to help can be felt by your partner through the hands, transforming the simplest techniques into a caring bond. Before giving a shiatsu treatment, clam your own mind, as any tension will transmit itself to your partner.

The Hara

The Hara is one of the most powerful energy centres of the body. In Shiatsu terms it is known as Tanden, and is located below the navel in the lower abdomen. It is the physical centre of the body and features prominently in all shiatsu treatments. The Hara incorporates the Yin (Earth) force flowing up the front of the body, and the Yang (Heaven) force flowing down the back merging into the lower abdomen. By focusing all movements from this centre you can give harmonious and supportive treatments. Develop an open-posture principle in which your Hara is physically and energitically behind all your movements. This enables weight to be used instead of force. The simple rule is if you're not feeling comfortable and relaxed your partner will become aware of his.

It is very important to remember your own breathing when stretching and applying pressure. Breathe in deeply and exhale as you move into a stretch, encouraging your partner to do the same.

Healing Energy

The aim of Shiatsu is to balance the body's "Chi" energy levels. The rocking, kneading and stretching techniques are most effective in unblocking the congested areas. If your partner has a low energy level, and is generally fatigued, then slow, deep, static and perpendicular pressure will be more effective in strengthening the energy flow. Holding certain points for one to ten seconds is a general guideline but use your intuition as to how long you hold.

Practical Points

A shiatsu session normally lasts up to an hour. It is advisable to wear loose clothing so that your movements aren't hampered. The receiver is also clothed, but should avoid wearing bulky or constricting clothes that would impede contact with the body. Generally, the therapist works on the whole of the body and having discovered your problems may suggest simple practical exercises for home use to help the process of recovery. The effects of shiatsu may be felt immediately or later on in the same day, but if painful reactions are later experienced then your practitioner should be contacted. There are no two people with similar mental and physical complaints and the number of sessions will depend upon the individual's needs.

Shiatsu helps to keep open the communication between body, mind, emotion and spirit.

The Main Techniques

Palming

Palming is the simplest and most widely used technique in Shiatsu. Palm pressure is gentle but firm, creating a supporting and soothing effect on any tense or vulnerable areas of the body.

Allow your hands to be relaxed so that your fingers can follow the contours of whatever part of the body you contact, then lean your body weight through your palm, holding and waiting for the connection between your two palms. Lean back and without breaking contact, slide your hand along the body and lean forward again, creating stationary and perpendicular pressure.

Rocking

Use rocking on large areas to relieve tension. Placing your hands apart with palms down on your partner's body, rock slowly forward and back. The rocking should come from your own centre of balance, the Hara, which should control the movement.

Thumbing

Thumb pressure is far more precise and penetrating than palming, and is used for working the points along the meridians. Place your thumbpads on the points. Use your extended fingers for support, so that the thumb remains straight. Lean your body forward so that most of the pressure is transferred through the thumbs. Make sure your nails are quite short to practice the technique or you may hurt your partner.